Thursday 11 September 2014

Sex Tape





I did think this was funny but reality kept slipping into my mind of really?  How is this possible?  I don't really understand "the Cloud" but I'm not sure I would ever be caught in this situation!

Age old lesson prevails - don't record anything on camera that you wouldn't be happy with your grandmother seeing!

6/10

M x

Thursday 14 August 2014

The Golden Girl



5 years ago today Kristy Godden left this world, it was a moment that although I held hope wouldn't happen, was expected but that doesn't change the impact that the knowledge she had gone had on me.

Kristy and I worked together for 4 years, we shared the same birthday, we sat side by side for the majority of those years or were never more that 5 steps away from each other - always in yelling distance.  We ate morning tea & lunch together most of those days. We took up Hip Hop and Jazz dancing together (Kristy won a trophy that she would point out to passers by proved that she was a better dancer than me), and we shared some deep discussions, shallow discussions and had some of the happiest times and biggest belly laughs I can ever remember.  Kristy was someone that made me laugh she had a quirky sense of humour, was intelligent and I enjoyed spending time with her and in those 4 years I spent a lot of time with her.

The difficulty in losing a work colleague is that there is no escape -  when I lost my grandfathers in the two years that followed - I could use work as my escape from the sadness but when we lost Kristy work just wasn't the same, I couldn't think or concentrate and I just struggled to function without the hope that she would return to the desk next to me and bring that sunshine personality to brighten up my day.

5 years on and I still think of Kristy most days the impact that her death had on me was second to none and I am thankful for all that it taught me but it's guilt I want to let go of and find the hardest to let go of it.  I live with guilt that I didn't visit her more when she was sick, I know she had her family and didn't need me but I feel that I should have been there more and should have given her more.  I visited her in hospital in her final week and it was amazing we chatted for hours laughed and talked like nothing was wrong but even that upon reflection I feel guilty about - I wanted to pretend that she was ok, I didn't want to face the fact that she was so very sick and dying. It was an amazing last memory and I don't want to tarnish it but I can't even remember asking her if she was ok with what was happening. I tell myself that she didn't want to talk about it and she wanted me to pretend that everything was ok and that is what we both needed that visit to be a moment of us laughing and chatting just like we always did but THIS is why I have guilt.  I should have been there more or offered or asked what she needed from me did she want to bitch about why this had happened to her, did she want to vent about her partner and her mum and if they were driving her nuts, did she want to watch rom com's OR me to have a dance battle with her?  I have guilt that in those last 6 months I was not the friend I should have been or a friend that justifies the impact that she provided in my life.

The other part of guilt I feel is that I have now have the things we had both always talked and dreamed of.  I am married, I have a dog, I have a house, I have a beautiful daughter, I have the job and I have my health.  Why did I get all of these things?  Why can't I tell her about them? Why did she have to be the one that missed out on them?  What did I do right and what did she do wrong?  Why at 27 did she get all of her hopes and dreams taken from her? For a logical rational mind like mine I keep battling with all of these questions and living with the guilt that I am still here and she is not and I don't understand WHY.

M xo



Sunday 13 July 2014

The Fault in our Stars


I saw this today, I haven't read the book and didn't really know much about it. I'd been told it is a great book & that it's really sad and I'd assumed this was because the girl is sick and dies(the oxygen thing in the girls nose was my clue). My husband doesn't understand why I would subject myself to a sad movie when you could watch a happy one (and I don't understand why he bother to watch/read the news so that makes us equal) but I wanted to see it because I was in a bit of a funk and needed an excuse to cry... And cry I did!

It was sad but not for the reasons I'd thought it would be, yes the main girl character - Hazel Grace Lancaster (or something like that) is sick and dying and yes she and the boy Augustus Waters(Gus) fall in love  but the love isn't instantaneous love, it is a slow growing love formed around a friendship as described in the movie "I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once." It was beautiful to watch develop and I think the cinematography really displayed it so well I felt the excitement, nerves and flirtation.

The thing that I found saddened me was not the fact that Hazel Grace was sick it was more her obsession around what happens when she dies, is everyone going to be okay? It made me think about the comfort we provide to the dying verses what they need from us. It isn't necessarily to provide comfort that they will be ok or we are here for them in their time of "need" but that WE will be okay without them. Another line that stuck with me was after the funeral and Hazel had chosen not to read the words she had written she said "a funeral is not for the dead, it's for those that have been left behind."

Another thing I found saddening and thought provoking was a conversation late in the film between Hazel and Gus about his fear of oblivion, or being forgotten - he wants to be great, remembered as a hero and have stories written about him and she replies that isn't her love and admiration enough. I found it thought provoking in respect to my own craving for stardom and admiration. It made me question myself and my own relationships with people. Isn't it better to be deeply loved by one person than adored or known by many? Isn't one persons total love and admiration enough? What more do you want in life?

I found this film was layered with so many thought provoking moments and I was still quiet emotional an hour after I'd seen it. The emotion I was expecting (after all that's why I went to see it), it just wasn't the way I expected to feel. I really enjoyed the film 
so I give it 4.5 (.5 short of perfection because there was a single moment I was wanting the end to hurry up and come).

M xo

Saturday 21 June 2014

Game of Thrones


The most downloaded show in Australia... I am against illegal downloading especially of movies but as for tv shows, I am a little more lenient. I justify it because they get paid by the network up front for the entire series so nobody misses out. Anyway all the talk of game of thrones had me interested so my husband & I started watching the series together at the start of the year. Slowly & surely we too became addicted and this week watched the final episode bringing us up to date with the rest of the world and meaning we will now have to wait a whole year to see the next instalment (unless curiosity gets the better of me and I start reading the books). Thinking back over the series thus far I wanted to provide my top 5 jaw dropping, heart clenching moments:

1. The Death of Ned Stark

The thing about Ned Stark's death was that it was the first main character to die and you just didn't expect it. Not to mention the pain of watching his daughters watch him be killed.

2. The Red Wedding

The red wedding was another of those OMGee moments, it made me feel sick to my stomach but also feel lost & empty.

3. The Death of the King

I think this was a moment of rejoicing for most people, I don't know anyone that liked Joffrey.

 4. The Mother of Dragons

Not much not to love about the mother of dragons - she is by far my favourite character.

5. The Crushing of the Skull


It was just yucky



Toy Story 3


I've been home sick with a toddler and although it's not nice to have a sick child, I have been excited to introduce her to some Disney classics, she hasn't exactly been that interested in many of them but she has taken a liking to Toy Story which is really nice as there are 3 of them and it's a movie series I love to watch.

My disclaimer is that I love toy story that much that at our wedding  the first dance that my husband and I shared was to "you've got a friend in me" from the toy story 2 soundtrack...

My absolute favourite of the toy story series is the 3rd - I think it's the most beautiful movie and has it all covered. I can not fault the movie at all - I laugh, cry and feel emotions each and every time I watch it. I especially get emotional in the final scene where the grown up Andy is giving his precious toys away to the little girl Bonnie.


I honestly can not work out what it is about this scene that has me crying like a baby every time I watch it and even as I type now, just thinking about it I have a tear in my eye. I wonder if it's the symbolic gesture of giving away your childhood toys brings that feeling of saying goodbye to my own childhood? Or is it that I personally could never bring myself to give up my childhood teddy bear? Or is it because now as a mum I think about my own child growing up and the short time that I have left to prepare her for the big world? Whatever it is no movie has me feel this way every time I watch it and that is why after all this time I still give this movie a perfect 10.

M x

Frozen


I've heard so much about this movie & never had any real interest in seeing it until after being stuck at home for 4 days with my sick toddler. What sparked my interest even further is that when I went to purchase the DVD from Big W I was told sorry we sold out again - a new shipment arrives & usually sells out in days... Needless to say now I had to see what the fuss was about! We got the DVD & I watched this afternoon with my toddler & husband. 

The husbands interest was lost in the first few moments when they broke into song but the toddler stay interested for about 10 mins until I was on my own.

I've got to say I really enjoyed it, don't get me wrong it's a typical Disney animated movie but I'd put it up there as one of the best I've seen in recent years. I found it a bit slow to start but once it warmed up I was hooked. The music was lovely & the "let it go" song I found perfectly animated with a beautiful musical melody that had me craving more.  

The only criticism I would have would be around the storyline and the message it sent about being different - stay shut away and try act the same as everyone else but that ended nicely with a sisters love winning over all.

Overall I'd put it up there with Beauty & the beast as one that will remain a Disney Classic for years to come.

I'll give it an 8

M x

Maleficent


As a Disney girl something about the idea of Angelina Jolie playing the villainess character from Sleeping Beauty appealed to me and I couldn't wait to see her as the evil Maleficent.

As I mentioned Angelina was the draw card for me so I hadn't seen any previews and went in totally blind as to what the film was about so it surprised me that the story was written from the antagonist.

I wouldn't say that I didn't enjoy the film because I did but it was lacking something that I can't quiet put my finger on and needless to say it didn't exactly blow me away.  Angelina played Maleficent well and looked absolutely breathtaking and I felt sympathy for her and the situation, the scenes were beautiful and magical but I couldn't help but feel I had seen parts of it before and the remaining cast I would have to say were average.  I liked the twist on loves true kiss (even though I picked it) and enjoyed how it remained mostly true to the Disney Classic.

All in all I will give it a 7

M x 




Tuesday 11 February 2014

I'm back.... 12 Years a Slave

It's been a very long time since I played in the world of blogger and while my absence from the blog was more than likely not noticed by a single soul, and truthfully I had so much anxiety over writing my words and making sure they were right that I gave up and had convinced it was a silly idea that I'm not quiet sure why I started, But then..... 

Today I saw a movie and wanted to express my thoughts on it and now I've realised.... It's not even for anyone else to read and honestly I don't think I even mind that nobody reads my posts - it's more for me to relive the memory of how seeing a film for the first time felt when I saw it.

Today I saw 12 years a Slave and I'm not sure that I've ever felt this way during a film ever... I felt sickened to my stomach during the whole thing, I felt sick that the human race was capable of such horrible, nasty and cruel behaviour and just carried on as if it was normal. I felt sick that people that were treated so badly would just then stand by and watch as others were treated the same if not worse. And then I wondered, I wondered what I would be like if I lived back in that time, would I act in this way or would I realise it is wrong and speak my mind? I wondered if there is still racist behaviour like this anywhere in the world and finally, I wondered if my life would be different if my skin was a different colour?

I found this film a great story that kept me entertained from beginning to end. I just find it unfortunate and sad that it is based on a true story.  It's my pick this year for best picture and I give it a 9 out of 10.

The Kings Speech



To be completely honest I had no intention of seeing this movie until it won the academy award and even then the only reason I went to see it was because my mother suggested that I do.  I'm so glad she did!

I laughed, I cried and I felt the emotions of what it would be like to have so much pressure to have to speak when you didn't really want to.  I always thought I wanted to be famous but after watching this I decided I'm glad I'm not a royal!!

I thought Geoffrey Rush was AMAZING and Colin Firth was good too, made me want to explore the royals and learn more of their story which for me must have meant I really enjoyed it!

I'd give it a 9...

Ps this is one I had saved in my drafts stressing over my words.... It's a bit raw but I decided to post it anyway because it was a good movie that I really enjoyed and still think about often...