Thursday, 17 March 2016
I don't know what it is with me or why I do this to myself but once again I have that heavy feeling on my chest that I'm not doing enough, I feel almost lost on a daily basis lacking any direction or focus.
I feel I'm not using my year "off" as well as I should be. I should have a system in place where each Wednesday I cook and wash the sheets and mop the floors but alas here I am floundering and time wasting!
I just wish there was a easy way to get my head in the game and keep it there.
I wish I knew what I wanted to be when I grew up... I should be using this time to work towards it but then again why not just stop! But maybe I do know what I want to be? Maybe I'm happy to be a mum but why do I feel such pressure that being "just" a mum isn't enough... What happened in society that being a SAHM wasn't desirable anymore... But neither is a full time working mum and then part time working mums are frowned upon too.... No matter what path is chosen there is always an argument for the opposite!
I really just want to stop thinking and feeling this way so I can just enjoy this moment right now because it will be over before I know it! I want energy to accomplish all the tasks required in a day and I want to stop having unrealistic expectations on myself to accomplish thousands of tasks in a single day... Really not that much!!